It was more than tears...

Seriously I did not want to cry. I wanted to be strong.

I was dying inside... I was breaking inside but on the outside I was trying to show everyone that I was strong... The more I faked boldness, the more lonely and empty i felt.

I was hurting but no one cared.  Family seem not to care, they said nothing to me… I was meaningless to them. Maybe they see me as a troublesome boy, I didn’t know.

In my darkest hours…

In that moment where nothing makes sense, that moment where all you hear is your heart beating…
I close my eyes and begin to imagine.
Wait, imagine or dream? I don’t really know the difference right now.

I see my casket lowered into the ground… When did I die?